It begins here.

So you can get bored of a certain penis. In that utter strange way, why can't men just get bored of those 2 round stuff of fat on the chest? Well, this is with the context that you're not gay or lesbian but straight. Not sometimes-I-like-girls-more-than-guys straight or sometimes-I-like-guys-more-than-girls straight. I, Melrose Dane, mean straight straight. As in when Adam saw Eve, he immediately had an erection. Not that when Ennis and Jack slept together and felt the need to get screwed in the butt kind of love thing. Well, you get my drift.

Dates after dates. With so many different guys. It just doesn't seem to end. Doesn't it. Yes. For nights I have prayed for this to end eventually. I definitely want to be a Mrs. Something and not forever stuck with being a Miss Dane. Even my 22 year old sister has a beau to brag about every family Christmas gatherings. And me? Mom's always asking when am I bringing home a partner. She even doubts if her daughter's straight.

There was that Italian guy with really big hands once. What was his name? Let me think. Ah yes, Isaia. Stereotypical as it may seem, he is gay. Who desperately tried to go straight with me. Guess my life has turned into an option of second choices for the un-straight to walk the supposed path of life. Well, Isaia or Is man, is undeniably gay. He tried but yes it didn't work out. Oh please, which guy in the world would actually plan their manicure sessions with their girlfriends. Or to the extreme drag his girlfriend out from bed because he discovered she hadn't have a wax for a month. Yes. Bikini wax. And I'm not going into our ex-ed sex life.